DEALING WITH CONFLICT
There are two types of conflict we deal with daily.
There is a conflict with other people.
There are internal conflicts that each individual deals with.
2 Corinthians 7:5
When we came to Macedonia, this body of ours had no rest, but we were harassed at every turn by conflicts on the outside and fears within.
We are growing more and more insensitive to gun violence, external conflict.
Killing people is becoming the preferred way people resolve conflicts
As a result, mass murders are on the rise in the US and around the world.
The US averages one mass murder a day.
My personal opinion is mass media has become the teacher and influencer of society
Major movies, center around violence such as popular tv shows, Blue Blood, East NewYork.
Video games promote violence. Our tablets, cell phones, and TVs expose us to the
violence in society.
Violence begins with internal conflict or rage.
When do internal conflicts begin?
How do we control internal conflict?
Definition
A conflict is a struggle and a clash of interests, opinions, or even principles. Conflict will always be found in society; as the basis of conflict may vary to be personal, racial, class, caste, political and international. Wikipedia
James 4:1-4
4 What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you? 2 You want something but don't get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God. 3 When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.
WHERE DID CONFLICT BEGIN?
The Bible is full of key people who dealt with conflicts.
Let’s look at a few.
Conflicts began in heaven. Lucifer the archangel rebelled against God. He coveted God’s position
Isaiah 14:13-14
13 You said in your heart, "I will ascend to heaven;
I will raise my throne above the stars of God;
I will sit enthroned on the mount of assembly,
on the utmost heights of the sacred mountain.
14 I will ascend above the tops of the clouds;
I will make myself like the Most High."
Satan caused a riot in heaven. One-third of the angels fell with him.
See Ezekiel 28:14-16
He took his hatred for God to the Garden of Eden where he influenced.
Adam and Eve disobeyed God's command. It was their lust that caused
them to sin. They refused to accept responsibility for their sin. They blamed
God.
Cain killed Able because of his jealousy and anger.
Genesis 4:6-8
6 Then the Lord said to Cain, "Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? 7 If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must master it."
Sampson was given great strength. He couldn’t control his sexual desires. His pride
lead to disobedience and murder.
Judges 15:6-8
So the Philistines went up and burned her and her father to death. 7 Samson said to them, "Since you've acted like this, I won't stop until I get my revenge on you." 8 He attacked them viciously and slaughtered many of them. Then he went down and stayed in a cave in the rock of Etam.
King Saul became jealous of David and attempted many times to kill him
1 Samuel 18:7-9
7 As they danced, they sang:
"Saul has slain his thousands,
and David his tens of thousands."
8 Saul was very angry; this refrain galled him. "They have credited David with tens of thousands," he thought, "but me with only thousands. What more can he get but the kingdom?" 9 And from that time on Saul kept a jealous eye on David.
King David coveted one of his soldier's wife. He got her pregnant
He murdered her husband to cover up his sin. His sin started with the lust of the eye.
2 Samuel 11:26-12:1
When Uriah's wife heard that her husband was dead, she mourned for him. 27 After the time of mourning was over, David had her brought to his house, and she became his wife and bore him a son. But the thing David had done displeased the Lord.
The Pharisees and Sadducees killed Jesus because they wanted to maintain control of
the Jewish community. Jesus told the truth. His adversaries looked for ways to trap Jesus
with the truth.
Matthew 23:13
"Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You shut the kingdom of heaven in men's faces. You yourselves do not enter, nor will you let those enter who are trying to.
Judas for the love of money betrayed Jesus. When Judas found out that Jesus would be
crucified, he hung himself.
The Apostle, Paul before His conversion, by misinterpretation of scripture in the name of the Lord
and became a persecutor of church members
Acts 8:3
3 But Saul began to destroy the church. Going from house to house, he dragged men and women and put them in prison.
Where does rage in today’s society start?
Let me suggest it starts in the baby stage.
God gave babies a means of communication, crying.
When they are hungry cry
When they are wet cry
When they want attention cry
They learn quickly that a temper tantrum gets results
When the baby becomes old enough to talk, we should quickly get the temper tantrum
under control
The problem is we never do. We see it in ourselves. As grown-ups we have temper tantrums.
When we can’t get our way we can easily get out of control.
SUMMARY OF GOD’S EXAMPLES
Starting from the beginning THE CONFLICT
Satan Pride and covetous
Adam and Eve Lust of the eye
Cain jealously, anger
Samson Lust, pride
King Saul jealously
David lust, murdered
Pharisees and Sadducee Deception, control
Saul before he was an apostle pride
Judas the love of money
CONFLICT STARTS WITHIN US
The Apostle Paul added one more element of conflict, fear
2 Corinthians 7:5-6
For when we came into Macedonia, this body of ours had no rest, but we were harassed at every turn by conflicts on the outside, and fears within.
Conflicts start within us. We are in conflict with right and wrong. WE KNOW RIGHT BUT
WE LOVE WRONG.
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Paul said there is a war going on inside of us
Romans 7:22-23
For in my inner being I delight in God's law; 23 but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members.
James 4:1
From whence come wars and fighting’s among you? come they not hence, even of your lusts that war in your members?
CONTROLLING THE WAR THAT RAGES WITHIN
Each of us has a war raging within us. Through the power of the Holy Spirit
the faithful believer can control it and remain peaceful.
But what about our kids and non believers. They have access to social media, which teaches them
the be in conflict with those around them.
Our children spend too much time on social media. They learn to communicate with
text and emails. They are influenced by what they see and hear.
We don’t have to greet each other in person. If I don want to see you or talk to you,
I will text you or email you. Lack of interpersonal skills is a key reason we have
difficulty handling conflicts.
Every household has a gun. We learn how to pull the trigger and shoot. But there is
no emphasizing gun responsibility. When people are not responsible, they use their
guns to handle the conflict that rages within them.
Four common causes of conflict are:
Personality differences.
Non-compliance with rules and policies.
Misunderstandings.
Competition.
Failure to stop, think, listen and communicate before acting leads to
unnecessary violence.
We have to equip our kids with the tools to handle the conflict that rages
within them.
The first thing we must realize is that conflict exists.
The second thing we must realize is that anyone is capable of violence.
The third thing we need to realize is who the real enemy is
The real enemy is Satan
Satan is the chief influencer of conflict and violence.
Don't underestimate the power of Satan to influence you and your children
to be violent.
Satan is a very violent spirit. He has the resources of an untold number of demons.
He is looking for any weakness in your character.
1 Peter 5:8-9
Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 9 Resist him, standing firm in the faith because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of suffering.
STATISTICS ON MASS MURDERS
In the paper published in Injury Epidemiology, Lisa Geller, MPH, lead author of the paper and state affairs manager of the Educational Fund to Stop Gun Violence (EFSGV), analyzed data from the Gun Violence Archive between 2014 and 2019 to reach two major conclusions. First, in more than two-thirds (68.2%) of mass shootings analyzed, the perpetrator either killed family or intimate partners or the shooter had a history of domestic violence;
and second, that DV-related mass shootings were associated with a greater fatality rate. On average, only one in six people survive a DV-related mass shooting compared to one in three people for non-DV mass shootings.
Geller and co-authors defined a ‘mass shooting’ as an incident with four or more fatalities by gunfire, not including the perpetrator.
JILLIAN PETERSON AND JAMES DENSLEY
AUG. 4, 2019 9:41 AM PT
First, the vast majority of mass shooters in our study experienced early childhood trauma and exposure to violence at a young age.
Second, practically every mass shooter we studied had reached an identifiable crisis point in the weeks or months leading up to the shooting. They often become angry and despondent because of a specific grievance.
Third, most of the shooters studied the actions of other shooters and sought validation for their motives.
Fourth, the shooters all had the means to carry out their plans. Once someone decides life is no longer worth living and that murdering others would be proper revenge, only means and opportunity stand in the way of another mass shooting
Remember every mass murder was once a baby
He was not born a mass murderer, he was influenced.
Conflicts are part of life. We must learn to control our eternal conflicts.
WHAT SHOULD WE DO?
What can we conclude? If you got a gun in your house, lock it up.
Explain the dangers and consequences of using guns to your children.
Know your loved ones.
Look again at God’s conversation with Cain
Genesis 4:6-7
6 Then the Lord said to Cain, "Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? 7 If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must master it."
God took notice of Cain’s mood.
God took notice of his facial features.
God addressed the problem.
God gave the solution.
God gave Cain the consequences of not controlling his inward conflict.
Sin unchecked will master you
The conflict was right versus wrong. He was disobedient, he was jealous which led
to his anger. His anger led to the unthinkable, the killing of his brother.
Make your kid's relationship with the Lord the priority
The Word of God is the foundation that must be built upon
The job of dealing with conflict is never done
Teach LOVE
Teach your children to control their anger.
Teach your children to appreciate what they have
Teach your children to respect the rights of others.
Teach your children the consequences of disobedience.
Discipline them when they are disobedient.
SET ASIDE A TIME FOR REGULAR CONVERSATIONS
Let your kids know to bring any of their problems to you.
Stay in touch with their emotion by asking questions.
If their mood changes deal with it
If they are angry, deal with it
If they are jealous, deal with it
If they are disrespectful deal with it
If they are selfish, deal with it
Take time to know what is influencing your kids
Take time to know your kid's friends
Teach your kids not to hang out with
Study the Word with your children
Get your children to Bible Study
Pray every day with your children
Talk about dealing with conflicts with your children
PUT ON THE FULL ARMOR OF GOD BEFORE YOU AND YOUR FAMILY
LEAVE THE HOUSE
SUMMARY
EVERY ONE DEALS WITH CONFLICTS
DON’T TAKE INTERNAL CONFLICTS FOR GRANTED
TAKE TIME TO KNOW WHAT FAMILY IS DEALING WITH
DISCUSS CONFLICT RESOLUTIONS
CLASS QUESTIONS
WHAT IS YOUR PLAN FOR DEALING WITH YOUR CONFLICTS?
HOW WILL YOU DETERMINE WHAT CONFLICT YOUR FAMILY
IS DEALING WITH?
HOW WILL YOU COUNSEL FAMILY MEMBERS ?
WHAT IS YOU GO TO SCRIPTURE FOR CONFLICT?
Rev. M. Mitchell
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