LEARNING TO FIGHT WELL
Over the many years of my life, I have been apart of and witness many
weddings. They all start out with a beautifully adorned bride walking
toward the altar with smiling faces of the groom and family members.
There is a declaration and a commitment to a life long marriage before
God and man. To death do us part is the promise.
Sadly, and all too often marriages end in separation and divorce. Some where along the line, the couple quit fighting to stay together. The two that
were to become one flesh never achieves it.
What is the problem and how do we solve it? Let’s look at some
basic principles.
1. Marriage and family were divinely created.
Gen 1:27
So God created man in his own image,
in the image of God he created him;
male and female he created them.
2. Marriage and family has a divine purpose.
Gen 1:28
God blessed them and said to them, "Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground."
3. Marriage and family has a divine need.
Gen 2:18
The Lord God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a
helper suitable for him."
4. Marriage and family has a divinely created enemy.
John 10:10
The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy.
Eph 6:12-13
For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers,
against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against
the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.
MARRIAGE DESIGNED TO FIGHT
The family was created to fight to survive. In Genesis 1:28, God commands
us to subdue the earth and rule over it. Ephesians 6:12 tells us that life is a
struggle.
MARRIAGE IS A WORK IN PROGRESS
The idea that marriage and family is a bed of roses, filled with joy and
bliss is false. Marriage and family is a work in progress. The work never
stops.
2 Cor 9:8
And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at
all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.
HOW DID MARRIAGE AND FAMILY LOSE IT’S PERFECTION?
In the beginning marriage and family was made in the image of God.
It was perfect in all aspects. Perfection lasted as long as man kept his
Eye on God.
PROBLEMS STARTS WITH DISOBEDIENCE
The problem with marriage and family begins from within.
We are our own worst enemy.
Consider the first family. The problem started with mom and dad.
They disobeyed God’s command. I believe their disobedience
was transferred to their sons.
Their disobedience led to murder. Cain killed Able because he didn’t
want to take responsibility for his sorry unacceptable offering to God.
Little sins led to bigger sins. Cain would not listen to God’s counsel.
Cain got that from mom and dad who did not accept the blame for sin.
LACK OF COMMUNICATION
To make marriage work, you have to work at communication.
Satan came to steal, kill and destroy.
Satan drove a wedge between Adam and Eve, by convincing Eve that
God was a liar and it was ok to eat from the Tree of Knowledge of Good
And Evil.
There is no recorded conversation between Adam and Eve about God’s
command. No recorded conversation with God about the lie Satan told
Eve before they ate the forbidden fruit.
LACK OF HUMILITY
What about Cain? What was his problem? Cain communicated with God,
but was too proud to admit his sin and became angry with God. He
took his anger out on Able.
We have to fight our disobedience. We have fight our lack of communication. We have to fight the pride in us.
THE SOLUTION TO A HEALTHY FAMILY
We were born in sin, and shaped in iniquity. How do you fight what you were born into?
WALK IN JESUS
1 John 2:5-6
But if anyone obeys his word, God's love is truly made complete in him. This is how we know we are in him: 6 Whoever claims to live in him must walk as Jesus did.
Eph 5:1-2
Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children 2 and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.
We have to constantly work on ourselves to walk like, love like and be
like Jesus.
You have to fight your fleshly desires to have a good marriage and Family.
You know it is easy to say something you regret when you get into a disagreement. You can’t un-ring a bell. We must learn to listen then think
Before we open our mouths.
EXPECT PROBLEMS
Daily life is full of problems. It’s how you handle them that is important.
Put two people together and sooner or later there will be a disagreement.
1 Peter 4:12-13
Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. 13 But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed.
Marriage combines two different individuals, with different ideas, different
backgrounds, and different experiences. It is work to come to agreement in
most things.
God says, one flesh, but the world promotes independence.
The world promotes equal rights, but God wants justice in His righteousness.
If we are not careful we will promote ourselves and not family.
We have to fight to promote family over individuality.
HUMBLE YOURSELF
I think most people want to be winners. Nobody plans their life
To be a loser.
Sports fans root for their favorite team. The winning mentality is
ingrained in us from our every day activities.
When my wife and I play scrabble, I set out to be the winner.
Since she has a larger vocabulary than mind she ends with the
most points. I counter that she made up words only to find out
That they are in the dictionary.
It is our pride that promotes our winning mentality. Pride gets
In the way of family unity. Pride is the source of many arguments.
Pride is often times destructive.
James 4:6
"God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.
The better person don’t mind losing an argument, because God
Give grace to the humble.
When our pride comes before others, we are opposed by God.
When pride comes before others, family ceases to be the objective.
When pride comes before others, you cease to walk like Jesus.
When pride comes before others you cease to fight for the family.
EQUIPPED TO FIGHT
We were equipped to fight. We must learn to use the weapons God has
given us.
Eph 6:11
Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the
devil's schemes.
Eph 6:13-18
Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil
comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done
everything, to stand. 14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled
around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15
and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel
of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with
which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17
Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the
word of God. 18 And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds
of prayers and requests.
ELEMENTS OF VICTORY IN MARRIAGE AND
FAMILY
1. Know Word Of God For Yourself
2. Act upon the Word
3. Stand On The Word
4. Believe The Word
5. Be Confident Of The Victory
6. Speak The Word
7. Pray Always
FIGHT THE GOOD FIGHT FOR MARRIAGE AND FAMILY
Rev. M. Mitchell
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