A HARMONIOUS MARRIAGE
Marriage is God’s premier institution in heaven and on earth.
Marriage takes constant work to be at its best. It is always a
two way street.
I think every young couple goes into marriage with dreams of the
happily ever after. The reality is the happily ever after does not happen without work and endurance.
I like the marriage mission given by the Time Warp Wife ministries.
This takes the focus off of us and put it on a Christ centered life
There are all kinds of articles on how to have a successful marriage
which are good. I will give you some tips from articles I read.
MARRIAGE IS FINDING JOY.
You can only obtain lasting Joy if you have a relationship with Jesus
Christ.
John 15:10-11
If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father's commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.
To have joy in the family, you have to see each others as washed in the
blood of Christ without blemish or fault.
Through our eyes we see all the problems and faults and that hinders joy.
We must put aside all our problems and seek ways to enjoy each other.
I remember by first date with my wife before our marriage, I was trying
To impress her and to please her. I was excited about our meeting.
There is a way to find and keep that excitement. It is through an unselfish
desire to please others that joy is found. Joy is lost when we lay aside the
mission.
LAUGHING TOGETHER
It is hard to think about joy when you are hurting or in pain.
There are times you need to lay aside the problems of the day
And think yourself happy.
Gen 18:13-14
"Why did Sarah laugh and say, 'Will I really have a child, now that I am old?' 14 Is anything too hard for the Lord? I will return to you at the appointed time next year and Sarah will have a son."
My wife and I love watching reruns of The Golden Girls, staring Bea
Authur, Rue McClan and Betty White.
They look at life a little differently and say things that are unexpectedly funny. Each episode takes us away from the seriously of life and gives a
Few moments of laughter.
HAVING FUN TOGETHER
Everyone has something that they enjoy doing. It is different for each
Family.
You have to put the effort in to have fun. It maybe a movie and popcorn.
It could be driving around the city looking at new homes. It could be
A camping trip. It could be playing games together,
Anything to take your mind away from the everyday problems for a day.
Part of the excitement could be planning to do something different.
Before the pandemic, we signed up for some dancing classes. Didn’t
Learn much, but it was a lot of fun.
BE YOURSELF.
It is stressful to try to live up to someone else’s expectations’
There is always room for improvement in any relationship. But
Trying to be who you don’t want to be is a turn off.
In Genesis God made Adam and Eve naked. The text says they
were not ashamed. It was only when they saw themselves through
the eyes of the world, did they discovered it was something wrong
with them. Sin has a way of making you think you need to measure
up to someone’s standards.
If you are naturally goofy and you are happy, that’s ok.
If you are naturally funny and you are happy, that is ok.
If you are serious all the time and you are happy, its ok.
If you don’t think the way others think and you are happy
That’s ok. God did not make us all the same.
I would rather be happy the way I am, than be unhappy trying
to meet your expectations.
The Bible says Adam and Eve were naked. Every thing about
About themselves was plain to see. If Eve had any faults, Adam
was ok with them. If Adam had any faults, Eve was ok with them.
They were happy the way God made them.
We have to learn that other people don’t have to measure up to
us.
COMMUNICATION IS A KEY TO HARMONY
You can’t read my mind and I can’t read yours. The only way I will
Know that we are on the same page is if we talk to each other.
Jesus said you will know the truth and the truth will set you free.
If your truth is not Jesus truth, I want know what you are talking about.
1 Tim 6:18
That they do good, that they be rich in good works, ready to distribute, willing to communicate;
Marriage and family is an institution that is worth the work. We are
rich to have family around us,
Ps 127:3
Sons are a heritage from the Lord, and children a reward from him.
Many times we say things or give directions and others understand differently from what we think, Sometimes is good to have people repeat
What you said to see how they understand.
When we communicate our differences, we can come to a clear understanding.
TEMPORARY ARGUMENTS
Arguments some times results from different opinions.
Arguments sometime result from miscommunications.
Since we are uniquely different we will have arguments
from time to time. The key is to talk about the issue and
Address the differences. Sometimes you can compromise.
Other time you can agree to disagree.
Settle the issue before you go to bed,
Eph 4:26-28
In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27 and do not give the devil a foothold.
Be open and kindly talk out your differences. If the issue is not life
threatening or financially destructive, it may not be worth the
Argument.
WORK TOGETHER
My wife and I usually have different ideas about how to do things in
and outside the house. So it is important for us to take time
Talk about what needs to be done and how we are going to do it.
My wife having been an auditor all her profession life is much
more thorough in her investigation. On the other hand, my background.
Is engineering. I see a job that need to be done and get it done without
much thought. I worry about the consequences later. So communication
Is important in our decision making on how to accomplish our goals.
My way may not always be the right way. We get a better outcome
When we work together,
SHOW GENUINE INTEREST
We need to be sure to stay interested in each others ideas.
For example, when it comes to movies, I am a forensic files can of
guy. I like to know all the details of how a crime is solved. My
wife is a love story type of person. I have to spend time watching her movies
so we don’t end up in two different rooms watching different TVs
Eph 5:25-27
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church,
Eph 5:28
He who loves his wife loves himself.
If the two have become one flesh, than if I get upset, if I get into an
Argument, if I have different opinions, its all against myself. Any
comments?
BE FIRST IN FORGIVENESS AND APOLOGIES
We are not perfect. We will make mistakes from time to time.
We will lose our tempers from time to time. We will say stuff
that is hurtful from time to time. We will do stuff that is not
right from time to time.
We are human. We have to learn to let hurt go in favor of peace.
We must learn that forgiveness is a Christian quality that restores
Peace and joy. It is an internal peace in you and offer of peace with
Others.
Col 3:13-14
Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14 And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.
GET THE LOG OUT OF YOUR EYE FIRST.
Before you criticize someone else, look in the mirror and see your
Own faults. I would be willing to bet, that your faults are as big as
The one you criticize.
Before you talk about someone else, consider what you are hiding
In the closet. What about the stuff under the bed that has not got to the
Closet?
Since we are not perfect, there is always something to talk about.
Rom 3:23
For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, 24 and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.
SERVE EACH OTHER WITH LOVE
God gave us families as HELP MEETS: TREASURES IN FRONT OF
YOU.
Jesus said I came to serve and not to be served. The evidence of Love
Is our service toward one another.
Marriage and family can’t exist unless we are willing to serve each other.
God put us together for the purpose to glorify Him. We do that in our relationships. When we use our different skills, thoughts, ideas and experiences in serving each other we become a stronger unit for God.
2 Cor 4:7
But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the Excellency of the
power may be of God, and not of us.
Love with all its meanings, began with love God has for us and the
love He commands us to imparts to families.
1 Cor 13:13
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
Love is a work in progress.
If you want an enjoyable marriage, you got to constantly work at it.
SUMMARY
MARRIAGE MISSION
FIND JOY TOGETHER
LAUGH TOGETHER
HAVE FUN
BE YOURSELF
COMMUNICATE
TEMPORARY ARGUMENTS
WORK TOGERHER
SHOW GENUINE INTEREST
FIRST TO FORGIVE
DON’T CRITICIZE
SERVE EACH OTHER
Rev. M. Mitchell
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