THE OPERATION OF THE FAMILY
Ephesians 5:21-6:5
SUBMISSION, KEY TO FAMILY AND UNITY
V:21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
Let the values, thoughts, opinions, and ideas of others in Christ be
as valuable as your own. We should never get to the point where we think we have the best idea or the only right interpretation.
Our job is to see others in love as a working significant
part of the body of Christ. It is better to give way to others to keep the peace
and unity of the Church. We are all serving the same God with the objective to
glorify Him.
HUSBAND THE HEAD, GOD’ DESIGN
V:22 Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
Here we must put aside our own, thoughts, opinions, and experiences and listen to
what the Lord said. God designed the family to imitate the Church. Christ is the head
of the Church and we are all under His supervision. God established an order for
the Church which is played out in the family.
As Christ is the head of the Church, Christ is the head of man and man is the head of the household. Man was created first and man was given God's command first. To qualify
as head of the household man must live according to God’s commands. Anything
less is unacceptable and leads to problems.
In the first family, Adam’s first encounter with the world, which was Satan, was to
allow Eve to take charge. Eve was deceived into eating the forbidden fruit,
and Adam followed suit in disobedience to God. Instead of consulting the Word of
God for himself or speaking to God for guidance, Adam followed the way of the
world. Thus, the family suffered a great loss because of Adam's disobedience. They
were kicked out of their home (the Garden of Eden) and forced to live a hard life
to survive. The hardships of our lives are the result of Adam’s disobedience.
The dynamics of every family are different, but God's commands are the same.
The husband must first be head as God commands. Not head in name, but head
in obedience to Christ. The husband must know and follow the Word of God.
The husband is the leader of the family. God’s way is the only way to lead.
LOVE A KEY INGREDIENT IN MARRIAGE
V:25 Husbands love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.
This is marriage and family 101. Love is the foundation of marriage. Man’s love
for his wife has Christ's love for the Church as its role model. Love requires the
man to sacrifice himself for his wife. All too often in marriages, man wants the
status as head, but not the responsibility of being head. The word love requires a
change of attitude to one of unselfish commitment to the wife.
Secular marriage counseling does not teach the man the objective of being Head of
the wife. The objective is the draw the wife to holiness and cleanse her with knowledge
of the Word of God.
The second part of the objective of being the head is for man to present himself as a church
without stain or wrinkle and blemish, but holy and blameless. The old man and
all his ideas must die for the new man to come alive in Christ. This is a great change
in attitude that must be recognized as necessary for a successful marriage.
Couples get excited about all the wedding preparations, but no time is spent preparing
for marriage. The wedding is for a day, but the marriage is for life. After the wedding day is gone, life presents itself with all its problems that only obedience to the
Word of God can solve. Man cannot be head without the guidance and direction of the
Holy Spirit. The wife is lost in the world without a head.
UNSELFISH LOVE IN ACTION
V:28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body.
The third objective of being the head of the wife is to love her as much as he loves
himself. Love is the foundation, the nourishment, and the motivation for family
life. When the man shows affection and attention to his wife, contentment flourishes
in the relationship. When there is contentment in our families we can promote
genuine love throughout the body.
A NEW HOUSE FOR FAMILY
V:31 "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." 32 This is a profound mystery — but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
The union between a man and his wife in the body of Christ is sacred and anointed by
God. Not only is it anointed by God but protected by Jesus and guided by the Holy
Spirit. The union between a man and his wife is first before any other human
relationship. Outside interference is unwelcome. Parents have no business in
their married sons' and daughters' relationships. Parents should be available for comfort
and counseling only. A man and His wife should not live with his parents. To do
so is to invite problems.
A man and his wife are sacred units that should not be corroded by outside influence.
Christ and the church body are a sacred unit that should not be corroded by the world.
The church body is filled with the Word of God. So a marriage must be filled with
the Word of God.
CHILDREN, THE PRODUCT OF MARRIAGE
V:6.1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 "Honor your father and mother"-which is the first commandment with a promise— 3 "that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth."
Parenting is a combined responsibility between a man and his wife. The man and his
wife must role model Christ in their parenting before their children. God gives the
commands to the parents that must be taught to their children. Obedience must be
enforced during the early development of the children.
It has been said that a child's personality is fixed by the time he (or she) is six years old.
At what age do you teach a child the Word of God? Every child is different.
What I do know is the universal language of a baby is the cry. They cry when they
are hungry. They cry when they need a diaper change. They cry when they are
lonely. They cry for attention. They quickly learn from the results of the cry, that they
can get what they want. The cry should be comforted with the voice of the parents
in love.
Instead of baby talk. I suggest you talk in the language they will quickly learn.
Talk about the things you want them to know. Sooner or later they will understand.
Show them what obedience means. Show them what honor means. Teach them
to say thank you. Role model the way you want your children to act.
Before you know it, the Word of God will be their vocabulary.
TRAINING, THE FATHER’S RESPONSIBILITY
V:4 Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
Training children is an important responsibility of a father. The head of the household
must be involved in training his children. The job cannot be left to the wife alone.
The head of the household must take time to learn God’s way of training.
Do not use harsh language that will anger your children. Teach your children the difference between right and wrong using the Word of God
Disobedience brings consequences and obedience brings rewards. Every child learns
in different ways. The Word of God has to be taught in a way they can understand.
Proverbs 22:6
6 Train a child in the way he should go,
and when he is old he will not turn from it.
Because the ways of a child are foolish, and at times, they refuse to listen
discipline becomes necessary
Proverbs 13:24
24 He who spares the rod hates his son,
but he who loves him is careful to discipline him.
Never discipline when angry or for revenge. Discipline out of love to enforce
obedience to the Word of God.
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