IT'S ALL ABOUT THE
FAMILY
Ephesians 5:21-6:4
UNITY BEGINS WITH SUBMISSION
V:21. "Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear
of God."
A. One of the keys to
keeping peace in the family is to summit your self to the
direction of another.
1. Don't get to proud that you can't take
advice from or work with another person.
2. You don't
always have to be in charge.
3. A marriage is
a partnership.
a. Two minds
are sharper than one and can accomplish more.
b. A partnership
works best when both are equal participants.
B. After creating a
world suitable for habitation, family was God's first order of
business.
1. God loves
family.
2. God loves unity
in the family.
3. Submission is
against our human nature, but is necessary for order and unity in
the family.
C. The reason we
submit ourselves to one another is our love for the Lord.
1. Submission is
not one sided. It goes both ways.
2. God has
designed the family so that we are dependant on one another.
3. We all have
gifts that are different and necessary for family unity.
4. It is by mutual
submission that we can keep the order set by God.
THE POSITION OF A WIFE
V:22. "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands,
as unto the Lord."
A. In a family God
has established positions.
1. There is a
wife of the family and there is a husband of the family.
2. In the garden
of Eden, God created Adam first and then formed Eve around a rib
bone of
Adam.
a. God bonded them together in marriage.
b. In
Genesis 2:24 God said, " Therefore shall a man leave his father and his
mother,
and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh."
c. Even
though the husband and the wife are two people they should act like
"one".
B. The wife is
placed under the leadership of the husband.
a. The
leadership of the husband is limited to the will of the Father.
b. The
husband, the man of the family, should counsel, teach, lead and provide
according
to the will of the Father.
c. For those
women who do not have a husband, God is the head of their
household.
THE POSITION OF THE HUSBAND
V:23. "For the husband is the head of the wife, even as
Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body."
A. How is Christ the
head of the Church?
1. He is the
protector and the provider of the Church.
2. He and the
Father are One, so He leads according to the will of the Father.
3. Christ is the
great Shepherd of the Church.
B. The husband, as
the head must lead according to the will of the Father.
1. The Husband is
the guardian of his wife and has the
responsibility to provide
and protect
her.
2. The Husband
must be careful to consider the will of the Father in all his
activities.
CHRIST IS THE EXAMPLE
V:24. "Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ,
so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing."
A. The husbands
should trust Christ in all things.
1. Therefore, the
wives trusting their husbands are trusting Christ.
2. Wives are
dependant on their husbands as their husbands are dependant on
Christ.
B. Christ is the
center and the focus of the Family.
1. Since Christ
is the center, the values of the husband and the wife ought to be the
same.
2. The husband
and his wife should strive to have the same goals and aspirations
and so being unified
in their thinking and their activities.
V:25. "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also
loved the church, and gave himself for it."
A. Christ is the
example for man to fulfill his obligation to his wife.
1. The word love
is the Greek word "apapate" which means to esteem or find joy in.
a. The Husband is to esteem his wife.
b. He is to
find joy in his wife.
c. He is to
respect his wife.
B. C. I. Scofield
described Christ love for the Church in threefold; past, present and
future.
1. For love, He
gave Himself to redeem the Church.
a. The
husband should labor to provide for the physical, social and spiritual well
being of
his wife.
2. In love,
Christ is sanctifying the Church.
a. The husband
should take time to teach his wife the Word of God and be God's
example to
her.
3. For the reward
for His labor of love, Christ will present the Church to Himself in
perfection.
a. The husband
should labor to uplift and buildup his wife to present her to himself
as a
beautiful jewel, priceless and perfect in the Lord.
V:26. "That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the
washing of water by the word."
A. It should be the
object of the husband that his wife looks good before him in the
eyes of the Lord.
1. Love is the
center piece of the marriage and the Word is the guiding light.
2. We are cleaned
up and regenerated by the Word of God.
3. When the
husband and the wife are involved in the Word, they will grow in love
and have respect
for one another.
B. The Word
expresses truth in the marriage. .
1. It is faith
in the Word of God that sanctifies us in the Lord Jesus Christ.
V:27. "That he might present it to himself a glorious
church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be
holy and without blemish.
A. At His second
coming, Christ will present the Church to Himself, prefect and
without blemish.
1. Christ, Himself is the perfection of the
Church.
2. When His work is complete in the Church,
He will return to redeem it to
Himself.
B. It is the duty of
the husband to grow his marriage into spiritual maturity.
1. The spiritual
growth of the marriage allows the couple to endure tough times as
well as the good times.
2. The husband
should continue beautifying his wife in love so to continue
presenting her to
himself.
UNSELFISH AND DEVOTED LOVE
V:28. "So ought men to love their wives as their own
bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself."
A. In order for the
marriage to grow and flourish, the husband has to love his wife as he
loves himself.
1. If he treats
his wife well, then He is treating himself well.
2. If he
mistreats his wife, then he mistreats himself.
B. When a husband
looks at his wife, he should see the love of his life.
1. When his wife
has joy, he should have joy.
2. When his wife
hurts, he should hurt.
V:29. "For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but
nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church."
A. It is God's
intention that the husband and the wife becomes one flesh.
1. In a unified
marriage, there is no him or her, just "them."
2. In a unified
marriage, there is no his or hers, just "theirs."
B. The objective of
the marriage is an unselfish devoted relationship.
1. The husband
and the wife should nourish and cherish each other as Christ does
the Church.
V:30. "For we are members of his body, of his flesh,
and of his bones."
A. A marriage should
be an extension of the Church of Jesus Christ.
1. We are all
family and should treat each other as family.
2. Because we are
family, we are all equal in the sight of Jesus Christ.
B. Because we are in
Christ and Christ is in us, the Church is what we should
always be for
the world to see.
C. Enjoyment in the
marriage comes from our love for Christ and our love for each
other.
A. Once in a marriage,
a man's primary focus is his wife and not his parents.
1. In- law
problems can contribute to problems in the marriage.
2. A marriage needs
its own space to grow and develop.
B. We can take
counsel and advice from our parents, but any decisions are strictly
between the man
and his wife.
1. Only Jesus can
keep a marriage together in love.
2. We must trust
Jesus with the solutions to all our problems.
V:32. "This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning
Christ and the church."
A. All believers are
one with Christ, therefore our actions should be an imitation of
Christ.
1. Christ is
building His Church with grace and mercy in love and truth.
2. We should treat
each other with grace and mercy in love and truth.
B. The foundation of
a marriage is love which unifies it in to one body.
1. If unselfish
love is our focus, the marriage will continue to grow.
2. Love never
looks back, but focuses on what is good and perfect.
V:33. "Nevertheless let every one of you in particular
so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her
husband."
A. In a marriage,
love and respect is mutual.
1. Neither the
husband or the wife should consider themselves more important than
than the
other.
2. God so
designed us that we have a need for each other.
a. We are
helpmates to each other.
3. Mutual honor
and respect breeds peace in the marriage.
a. When there
is peace in the marriage, love and joy increases.
TRAIN THE CHILDREN
V.6:1. "Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for
this is right."
A. Parents have a
responsibility and duty to obey the Lord.
1. The attitude
of children reflect the attitude of their parents.
2. If the parents
have no respect for the Lord, the children will have no respect for
the Lord.
B. The first
obligation of a parent is to be obedient to the Lord.
1. It is the duty
of the parents to train their children in the ways of the Lord.
2. Children will
know and respect the Lord because their parents respect the Lord.
C. You can command
children to obey their parents because they have been trained to
obey.
1. You can't
expect a child to behave in a certain way if they have not been trained.
Prov 22:6.
V:2. "Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first
commandment with promise;)"
A. It is a command
to honor your father and mother. It is not an option.
1. Children
learn from their parents first.
2. Children
learn to listen from their parents.
3. Children
learn to obey from their parents.
4. Children
learn the Word of God from their parents.
B. We can expect our
children to obey God's command because we as parents obey
His commands
and have taught our children obedience.
1. The discipline
of a child is the duty and obligation of the parents. Prov 13:24
2. Without
discipline, a child will not learn the importance of obedience.
3. Without
obedience, a child will be unruly, disrespectful and harmful to himself
and others. Prov
23:14, Prov 29:15
V:3. "That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest
live long on the earth."
A. Parents impact
the outcome, quality and length of their children lives by
teaching them
obedience to God's Word.
1. This is a
conditional promise based on obedience.
2. An obedient
child is a happy child ready to be successful in life.
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